Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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