I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
