Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
