quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
