he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
