I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
