You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
