Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
