You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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