3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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