I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
