I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
