direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
