so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You ate ashes out of my bong
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
