TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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