i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
