Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
