Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
