Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
