I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
