Christians are straight up FREAKS
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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