maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
