I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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