just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
