To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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