FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
