i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
