i think i have herpe
just one?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
