i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
