I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she smelled like a LAN party
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
