shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
