drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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