He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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