Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
