fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
