Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
