there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
