I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
