You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the day after is always just damage control
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He has the fingertips of a God
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