i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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