btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
