Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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