So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
