Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
