i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
where are my eyebrows?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
