Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
