how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
