I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
