I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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