I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
